The post too boring to name but where I get a job

I'm going to blow off all the stuff I'm supposed to be doing and write this instead. The following post will be all over the place and long, but pay no mind it'll go somewhere, I hope.

First thing on my brain is that the Kashi post seems to be the most popular. Really people, Kashi? Either they are super curious about Kashi or avid haters of the butt-flavored paste marketed as healthy scrotemeal like me. Take your pick.

Also, am I the only one who, when a new person leaves a comment, has to immediately check their blog, read their posts, and then check who they follow, and read their posts, then it becomes a hurricane spiraling into the abyss? Then twenty some odd hours later, when my eyeballs are about to spontaneously combust I remember that I had something to blog about, but by then I'm too tired to even think about it? Curse you funny people! (srsly. I do love the comments though and it gives me more reading material, so thx.)

(A commercial for ChristianMingle.Com just came on and I'm pretty sure that God isn't telling you it's your time to sign up for a dating website. It's probably more like the Devil.)

The major thing I wanted to spout was remember this?  Well if not, go read real quick. I promise it's short AND it contains two pics. The full story:

Interview at 9:30. I show up at 9, have to pee like whoah. Go inside, no bathrooms. Frick! Sit and wait for lady to come and get me. Tickle forms in my throat. You know that tickle, the one that starts in the middle of your throat and works its way up? Yeah that. No water fountains either. So I try and clear my throat, no good. A little cough and then a louder cough. Attracting attention now. Hmmm, thinking. Aha. A stick of gum, genius! Pop it in and begin to chew.

't.Weezy?'

Shit.  I get up and start trying to stick the gum underneath my tongue. The sticky barely chewed gum I might add. I extend my hand and follow her to her office. Exchanging pleasantries ensues. Yada Yada. Read the duties (yes I said duties) and give her my id. 

'I'm not going to be the one interviewing you. I don't know if you've ever applied for a job like this before but you are going to go in front of a panel of 3 people who are going to ask you questions and write down everything you say. They won't be making eye contact with you, it can be intimidating.'

What I heard was: 'You are going to be judged by 3 people who are going to drill you and make you sound like an ass and mimic everything you say. They won't even be paying you any attention, it is extremely asshole clenching intimidating.' I smile wearily. I think okay, at least she warned me so when I come back in for the second interview I know what to expect.

'Let me go see if they're ready for you.'

What. Thee. Fuck. Now?! I still have the gum in my mouth!!! I go to reach for something in my purse to put it in. Fail.

She peeks her head in. 'They're ready.'

Oh joy. I can hardly contain my happiness. I stand up and follow her to my parole hearing interview panel room and see the ladies. Three older ladies. They seem friendly enough. They explain what they will be doing and that I have the questions in front of me, paper, and a pencil if I want to write stuff down. Write stuff down?! Like what? Is there long division? Measurements? I'm doomed. Righty-o.

The Inbetween: I'm not crossing my legs to be lady like, I'm doing it so I don't piss in my tights. Keeping the gum under my tongue while nervously talking takes talent.  Pits dripping rivers in my sweater dress.

The End: I totally shit bombed it. Like flaming napalm shit bomb. They told me it could take up to 4 weeks to hear back.

She called, offered me the job, I took it.

Editor Thought Bubble: I bet the other candidates, like Atom shit bombed it.  Thank the scarecrows for that.