History Dumbed Down - Sir Isaac Newton

So there was this dude, this ancient dude from way back who was just chillaxin' in Woolsthorpe garden underneath a tree in the shade mindin' his own biz. Reading April's issue of 'Bushy Beavers circa 1666'. Suddenly...boink!

Black&White cuz they didn't have color photos back then, duh

After the apple bopped him on the head, Newton thought, 'Hmmm...some force inside the earth is pulling them down' but Ol' Sir Isaac wasn't the first person to have this thought, nor the second, or the third. However, he was the first to think the moon might fall too, if not for the centrifugal force of it's movement around Earth. Basically the moon would become a huge ass rock ball hurtling to kill mankind.

Thank the Milky Way for centrifugal force



Newton was smart, like big ass brain smart but so were a lot of other people. Have no fear, Sir Newton had shit on lock.

See above. He was the shiznit of smarts. Prolly not so good w/ the chicks though.

Then he went wild and started figuring out all kinds of motion laws. Well at least like 3 of them. Did a lot of speculating and invented Calculus (yes we can all hate Sir Douche for that). Bagged refracting telescopes and made instead reflecting ones. He proved that Earth was not a sphere but an oblate spheroid with flattened ends. He was a pussy though and didn't like to argue his position, reasoning that he was always right. Because of this, he never wanted to get his brain thoughts scribed.

Finally this other guy who you may have heard of, Edward Halley of thee 'Halley's Comet' persuaded him to write it down and after a year it was finally published in 1687. Sir Isaac Newton was knighted at the ripe old age of sixty-two and lived to be eight hundred and fifty years old. Actually he was only eighty-five. You didn't really believe that did you? Shame on you.

Looks like a stuck-up doucher to me and possibly just smelled a fart

In May 2010 a piece of the apple tree that inspired his thoughts was taken into orbit and quote '"I'm pretty sure that Sir Isaac would have loved to see this, assuming he wasn't space sick, as it would have proved his first law of motion to be correct." - Astronaut Peter Sellers.

In the end he died and became worm food. The End.

How do you like dem apples?

Not falling on my head, that's how
-t.WeeZy