Lake Lochness in my basement

Children of the Corn, anyone? Srsly, in my backyard.

So I realized as I was looking out my back window that where I live could pretty much be a kick-ass setting for a horror movie. I'm thinking Amish Zombies with Sickles or Mennonite Mafia with Machetes. Either way it'd be pretty damn frightening.

Yes, I'm bored. Yes, I need stimulation.  It's been raining for 24 hours gimme a break. I'm seriously lacking motivation for anything. Help!

Things I've done today:

Fed the kitty a bitchload of catnip

Had the coffee poops

Looked out the door a million times, hoping for the work clothes I ordered to be delivered. Most likely by horse and buggy

Dusted, vacuumed, unloaded/loaded the dishwasher and did the mirrors

Almost showered

Goofed around online (A lot)

Made a partial menu and grocery list for next week

Talked to the 'dude' a few times

Thought about exercising

Cut my bangs (hate 'em)

Worked on writing this post (failing)

Thought about exercising some more

Wet-Vac'ed the flooding basement a bajillion times

I finally got my clothes or at least some of them and I'm sure you can guess that none of the chinos fit. None. Not one fucking pair. I swear to christ on a cracker I have midget legs. They are an illusion, kind of like funhouse mirrors. They don't look short but god forbid I try to buy a regular pant...I'm sportin' bells. If I buy a short...almost high waters. It's a fine line people.

Don't be hatin' on my hair now

Anyways besides getting leg lengthening surgery looks like I'll be shipping those bitches back on my dime.  Hopefully they'll be returned to me before I start work. Otherwise I'll be wearing trash bags.  Why, you might ask? Because I've lost a lot of weight since my last gig. While I'm not complaining, it sucks when you still try and buy clothes online in your 'fat frame of mind.'

Job Lady called and left a message stating she wants me to start earlier than planned.  Good news: I'll get paid sooner. It'll get me out of the house, I'm tired of staring at farmland. I'll get to make 'real' life friends and have something to talk about with the 'dude' other than how many craps I took that day. Bad news: Clothes situation. I was kind of going to enjoy having a few weeks til I go back to the grind.

I guess I'll just suck it up, like the water in the basement and carry on.

Building an Arc

-t.WeeZy